The idea of a "broadband" may not be new--the Breeders, L7, Elastica and brave Heart are but a few legends that come to mind--but Kansas City's Venus Envy is without doubt the brightest constellation of musical women now besplendoring the local music scene firmament.

I went to see them late one evening last month at the Record Bar, now home of the famous Dancing Man from the erstwhile Hurricane.  An exuberant bloke in a short yellow shorts, the D-Man sported a matching yellow shirt which - in a nod to a couple of groups from France playing that night - read "Speak French...with a kiss."

Venus Envy didn't have to speak French to fire up the crowd's passion. With Shenon on lead vocals, Julia Thro on guitar, Stephanie Shelton on bass and Christy Garde on drums, Venus Envy masterfully rocked out covers of Bowie's "Moonage Daydream," Foo Fighters' "The Pretender," the Beastie Boyz' "Sabotage," and "6 Feet Underground," by the Sneaker Pimps, among others. 

Thro, who's played previously in BCR and with Joey Skidmore (who played later that night) was especially fast and furious on the guitar, and burned up the stage with every solo.

Actually, all the VE girls are experienced veterans.  Garde has drummed for Voodoo Kitchin, the Travis Downs band, Randy Crouch, and Flying Horse.  Shenon's vocalized in Retroactive, Groove Therapy, and Go Go Ray's Superband. 

I'd seen Shelton before, a few years back in Phantasmagoria, which taught me to love Primus, and later in Velvet Freeze with her brother Josh.  But at various times she's also played in 816, MSG, Dale Maxfield and the Silver Hammers, Wyandotte County Lowriders, and Firebox.

I was too shy to try to meet the other members of the band after the show; I get nervous in bars, and the idea of meeting a live girl musician who I've just photographed onstage in front of a frenzied crowd, OMG, is that my leg or is that spaghetti?  But sorta knowing Shelton from the old days when I wore my jetblack hair in luxuriant dreads, I was able to screw up some courage after a couple of Blue Bulls (absinthe, curacao and Pepsi), and ask the blonde bassist: Girl, how did you come up with this broadband connection thing?

 "Christy myspace-messaged me last spring with the idea of forming an all-female rock band," Shelton yelled in my ear, since I had installed heavy duty plugs.

"I'd always admired her and her work, so I told her I was in. Julia was the only guitarist I could think of who could pull off what we had in mind, so I groveled until she agreed to give us a whirl. Shenon was referred to us via Brett, the bassist of Christy's other band, Voodoo Kitchin. When she came out to rehearse with us the first time and belted out 'You Oughta Know,' we looked no further. We began getting together around late summer 2007 and played our first show this winter."

Aside from their multiple music projects, Venus Envy girls tend to mind their own businesses.  Garde does chiropractic and acupuncture at her Blue Springs clinic; Shenon is CEO of Exact Words, a translation service; and Shelton operates Decorative and Traditional Painting, which does decorative finishes and fine art--check out her work on her myspace page (http://www.myspace.com/pbassgrrl) and at her business website, http://www.decorativeandtraditionalpainting.com/

Also playing that night was a French broadband, Les Marteaux Pikettes (http://www.myspace.com/lesmarteauxpikettes), who for some reason could not bring themselves to stop acting French.  They drank, they smoked, and flirted with the crowd.  I got pretty worked up and at one point even threw my sweaty Pink Floyd tanktop onstage, but the vocalist flipped it back on my head with her bare foot.  I was in heaven.

By the time Joey Skidmore was up to bat, it was all I could do to drag my sorry ass out of the bar, unhitch my Clydesdale, and gallop back to my flophouse at 18th and Vine.  I had really wanted to make it to midnight, when the other French band, Les Fossoyeurs, a seven-piece horn band from Paris who'd been practicing earlier with local blowfish Jazzbo, was supposed to play. 

But frankly, the girls wore me out.  I was curled up and snoring on my straw ‘n excelsior bed, burning cigarette still in my fingers, about the time the last Record Bar French guy pursed his lips like they do when they say deaux, and blew.

Go see Venus Envy next at Sidepockets in Olathe on Friday, May 16!  Check out their myspace at http://www.myspace.com/venusenvy4

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