The pugnacious Poor earns his faux reverendship by constantly reprising the role of "Father Bang" O'Lufson Mackenzie, originally played by Bing Crosby in the 1943 movie classic, Shoving It Your Way. Poor apparently conceives himself to be Der Bingle in the thinly-veiled true story of Jean-Claude "Sugar Roy" Van O'Lepeppers, the feisty French archbishop who led his ragtag squad of Union Army volunteer mendicants, the Kung Fu Friars, to slow-motion victory - in hand-to-mouth combat - over an entire pontoon of Confederate Marines at the Battle of Molasses, which was finally concluded with biscuits and butter in 1866.

Around the newsroom, if he wants copy to edit, Poor simply throttles a nearby reporter and cocks his fabled tin fist. "I'll have that confession NOW, my child," he bellows in a wild Irish brogue, "or I'll punch yer ticket to the ice cream social!"